That day .. I’m sorry .. I regret it now .
Sitting under the tree .. when you spilled the beans ..
Your poems, your words, your timing was perfect ..
Just the girl you chose was all wrong.
I sat there all resplendent in blue;
And you in black which i admit looked nice.
Too haughty, too proud, too ashamed of myself;
No I said what else could I do?
I remember the look, the way you took it,
Sad but determined not to give in.
The chaat house was perfect a place,
Just the girl you chose was all wrong.
I remember, I remember. I remember it well.
I’m not all of the ungrateful brat you think i am.
Sociability was not one of my strengths
Nor math or football or music ..
Seasons go by ann life continues ..
Sometimes it comes around full circle.
You’ve moved on lost in new friends and new places
.. and so have I.
I’ve moved back to that tree
Lost in memories … I remember.
One of the many annoying household pests is undoubtedly the ant. Day in and day out they slave away, looking out for food and generally just spoiling just about everything their tiny little legs decide to walk upon. One would think that after years of being stomped on by little boys, or being poisoned by harassed housewives these little creatures would pack their bags and call it quits on trying to co-exist with us humans. But, no, they don’t. They keep at their work irrespective of the hostile environment, with their indomitable spirits up. It is to this indomitable spirit of theirs that I wish dedicate a fraction of my time to write about.
Why ants you ask? Because as I sat before my computer trying to think up a theme to write on, I saw one of those gazillion little mites that usually annoy me, trying to pull up something more than 10 times its size and despite the fact that it seemed like it was fighting a losing battle it still persevered. And that got me wondering what makes it tick? Why work so hard for something the community takes the credit for? This little ant I see still struggling up my wall is working way harder than the one down at my foot. Isn’t it unfair!
It’s only after a few minutes (more like seconds) of introspection that I figure out that of most of God’s creation Man is really one of the most selfish of them! We don’t like to do work we do not directly or indirectly benefit from. And to make us feel comfortable we just assume that every other living thing is or should be like us! It makes life so much simpler while at the same time easing our lazy consciences.
As I write this I see my little ant has reached its destination and is coming back for another attack on my open ‘mithai dubba’ which I perceive as a threat to my well being, hostel life having but a few joys. So despite the fact that I need to go find my insect repellant and that the ant has but a few moments more to live, let not this abrupt conclusion diminish the impact of the lesson we learnt today.
There is a lot of difference between what I feel and what I say
And sometimes my love, its hard to read between the lines
But what the head will not allow the heart to say
I will try to express through these lines
Sometimes behind this stubborn exterior hides a fragile heart
Too scared to be broken, it prefers to stay in the dark
Too much is never enough, Too less n it shrivels up further
Dying always only on the inside
Yet this brave heart still beats to time
Alive but sometimes just barely
And lately it seems to breathe less freely
Asphyxiated by ur strong nonchalant heartbeat
Sometimes the motion seems so strong
Im surprised it isn’t seen outwardly
But my calm aloof outward demeanor
Beguiles this poor poor heart
As it struggles to be heard over all the white noise
My head creates, to keep us apart,
And still I sit n think, and daydream n hope
Of all the things we could be doing ,
Of satisfied desire, of fulfilled dreams
Limitless options, of hope with wings.
Oh If only this heart could overcome this wretched head!
